A Broken Past
by Fayte
Summary: (Complete) Laguna has something to tell Squall, but he fears that Squall will never forgive him.
1. I Need To Tell You

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A Broken Past

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Disclaimer: I do now own Final Fantasy! But I do own this story because I am the one who wrote it!

As I left out the front door of the small house, I kissed Raine on the cheek and told her I would be coming back. She looked at me with her worried blue eyes and I reassured her that I wouldn't be gone for too long. I then gave little Elle a hug and a kiss before my departure. I would greatly miss her while I was gone. She looked up at me and smiled at me, her dark brown eyes filled with childish joy.

My two best bud's were waiting outside for me. I didn't want to leave… But I had to, I had a job to do. I'm sure Raine and Elle would be just fine… Raine didn't want me to go, but she understood. I took one last glance at Raine and little Elle before leaving the security of the house. Finally, we parted and Kiros, Ward and I left Winhill. I won't be gone long. I'll come back soon, and we will be a family once again. Just moments after our departure from Winhill, I was already missing the small house, and the quite little town. But I knew I would be returning soon. I hope…

~*~*~*~*~

"Let's talk when it's all done. I have a lot to tell you… Well, if you don't want to hear it, I'll understand." I told Squall. I had so much I wanted to tell him. But would he understand? Will he ever… Forgive me? I would understand if he didn't want to forgive me. But I would never be able to forgive myself for what I did… And I could never die in peace without his forgiveness. Please come back alive Squall… I really need to tell you this. I watched as he exited the room. Soon after, the sound of the Ragnarok's guns blasted, they echoed through my ears. Squall and his friends went inside Lunatic Pandora, where Adel awaited them. I remember when I was here 17 years ago. It didn't seem like much had changed, but Adel is somewhere inside that large thing. And who knows what kind of destruction she may cause. I just hope they all come back alive.

With a million thoughts going through my mind, I decided to sit down for a moment. When he came back, when it was all over, I would tell him. He has a right to know this, and I fear I may have waited to long to tell him… If only I could have found him earlier…

~*~*~*~*~

It was a short while after the Sorceress war had ended. I waited a little longer than I should have, but I felt that I needed to give Squall some time to himself after the whole Sorceress thing. He's been through a lot, and I really hope that this doesn't push him overboard. 

Finally I could tell Squall. This whole Sorceress thing is finally over. Now life can be as it was before, without any evil Sorceresses trying to take over the world. I can finally tell Squall what I have been meaning to tell him for a long time. As I sat in my office at the Presidential Palace, I wondered if he was going to show up. I called him a while ago. What could be taking him this long? Well, Esthar was pretty far from Balamb, I shouldn't be worrying about it. But what if he didn't show up? I started to feel tense. I wasn't sure if I could tell him… How would he react? Oh I hope this all ends well… I began to twirl a pen in my fingers.

Just then, Squall came in through the door. "What is so important that I had to come all the way here for?" Squall asked. I could tell he wasn't all that fond of me. When he first met me he thought I was a complete idiot and maybe I am. I looked over to the other side of the room where my friends Kiros and Ward were standing. I sent them both out so I could talk to Squall alone. I afraid of how me might react… But I had to go through with it. I couldn't hold it inside any longer.

"Sit down," I told him. He pulled a chair over to my desk and leaned back. He took a moment to yawn and then turned his attention to me. "Do you remember what I told you before you went into Lunatic Pandora?" I leaned forward and put my hands on the desk in front of me.

Squall sat up straight and he seemed to be thinking. "Well," he started, "all I remember is that you wanted to tell me something when it was all over. I'm here, now what is it?" He looked at me impatiently. I could tell he did not want to be here. He leaned back in his chair again and rolled his eyes.

"Okay," I replied. "I have to tell you something very important. I will understand if you are mad at me after I tell you." He sort of leaned back further in the chair and thought for a moment. I knew he was trying to think of what I was talking about. He didn't have the slightest clue of what I was about to tell him. I knew it would feel terribly awkward after I told him.

"Well? What is it already?" he said impatiently. He stared impatiently at me, as if he had better things to be doing than listening to some old man go on and on about something. I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to tell him. How might this affect him if I tell him? But I have to tell him. I have waited too long. Much too long to tell him. I am going to tell him. No matter what the outcome is, no matter what he thinks, I have to go through with it. He went through all the trouble of getting here, and I've been meaning to tell him this for the longest time.

I took a deep breath, then began to tell him the whole story. "Well, you see… Squall… I have been meaning to tell you this for a long time. Don't get me wrong, I wanted to tell you a long time ago, but I never had the chance, and I didn't know where to find you. And believe me, if I did, I would have told you a lot sooner. I'm afraid that it might be too late, and you will never forgive me, but no matter what the outcome, I will understand. You see Squall… I… I am your father." After I said that, a silence fell over the room. It was very uncomfortable. I knew Squall was a bit overwhelmed with what I had just told him. I took another deep breath and decided to continue. Squall just stared blankly, bedazzled by what I had just said. "And Raine, is your mother. If you are mad at me, I will forgive you… You see, I had to leave Raine for a mission, which I almost regret going on. Some soldiers tried to take Ellone away from Raine, but Raine resisted… And, she was killed…"

"How could you?!" Squall yelled. I knew this would happen… But I had to tell him… And no matter what the outcome, he was still my son. "How could you just abandon us like that?!" he was furious. "If you were my father, why weren't you there for me? Why?" He stood up with his fists clenched. We both stopped. I knew he was thinking about everything. I knew he would be disappointed in me. I wasn't there for him as a father when he was a child. 

I wasn't there for him at all. Our past is broken and can never be fixed… No one can return to the past and change it. I thought that I would be able to make it back to Winhill, back to Raine and Elle. I thought that my mission would only take a day or two… Not the rest of my life… "I'm sorry," I apologized. I waited for a response from Squall.

"You're the whole reason why my mother is dead! You weren't there to protect her! Why? Why weren't you there?! All because of a stupid mission?!" he yelled with anger. "I don't think I can ever forgive you…" and with that he walked out the door. I knew this would happen. I couldn't go the rest of my life with some deep dark secret though… I had a son, and he was my only family I had left… Besides Elle, even though she was adopted, she was still family. I've already lost Raine, I didn't want to lose Squall too.

I put my head down onto the cold desk and closed my eyes. What was said had to be said. We have a broken past that can never be fixed. No matter what, I can't do anything to change the past.


	2. Looking Back

I sat back in my chair and thought about what Squall had just yelled to me. It's my fault Raine is dead. It _is_ my fault! Why couldn't I have been there for her? If I never left, none of this would have ever happened! I was such a fool… Squall will never forgive me, and nor can I forgive myself for what I did. But what is done is done… It can't be changed. I'm so sorry Squall.

I sat in my office the whole night by myself thinking. What could I do to make up for what I did? It was too much to think about. I even cried a few times. Maybe it would just be better to just stay out of Squall's way… No, I can't do that. We already have a broken past. Though I may not be able to change that, I can change what is to be in the future… Instead of beating myself up on the inside, I can be a father to Squall. There is no point of feeling guilty for the rest of my life. I can start making up for the past now. Yeah. That sounds like a good idea. Yeah… I leaned back in my chair and closed my eyes.

When I awoke from a long nap, Kiros and Ward were standing at my desk. "Laguna?" Kiros whispered. I stretched out and rubbed the sleep from my eyes. Yawning, I sat up in the chair, I didn't even notice I had drifted off to sleep.

"Yeah?" I said sleepily. I yawned once more and looked at Kiros. 

"It didn't go too well, did it?" Kiros asked. He probably heard all the yelling and stuff.

"No…" I replied. "It didn't go too well… But I knew this would happen… I just hope that he _does_ forgive me sometime…" I stood up and walked over to the large glass window. I looked over the large city of Esthar. The conversation with Squall disappeared from my thoughts for a brief moment as I looked upon the grand city. I sighed and turned back to my best buds. Ward faintly smiled, then looked to the floor.

"I have decided to take a trip to Winhill," I told them out of nowhere. "It will be short, only for a day or so. I might be able to clear up my mind there." I took a deep breath and sat down for a moment to think. Ward left the room. A few minutes later he returned. He looked at me and nodded. I nodded back.

I left the Presidential Palace and set out for Winhill. I headed to the Airstation where the Ragnarok awaited me. On the way, I met several residents and tried the best I could to be happy, and smile. It seemed to work until one old woman said to me, "You have something on your mind… You seem sad about something President Loire…" I just looked at her oddly and continued walking. Those old people have some sort of sixth sense or something. I sighed and finally I made it to the Airstation. I greeted the pilot, and entered. It was just us two on the aircraft. He asked where I was headed and when to be picked up. I told him where and when. And then he asked me why I did not have Ward and Kiros with me. I told him I needed some alone time. He just faintly smiled and went to the cockpit.

I sat alone, looking out the windows at the world below. It was beautiful. Being inside the Ragnarok reminded me of the mission I was on 17 years ago. Kiros, Ward and I had caught the evil Sorceress Adel, and I had become President of Esthar. I should have returned to Raine… I sat down in one of the chairs and tried to relax a bit.

A while after takeoff, we had landed in front of Winhill. As I exited the Ragnarok, I thanked the pilot and reminded him again of when to pick me up. Moments later, he left. It was just me now. I can be alone now, I can finally clear my mind of all the duties of being a President and focus on other things now.

I entered the familiar little town. The first place I went was the old small house. It still had the small bar in it, but now it was different. It no longer smelled of fresh flowers. Raine always had fresh flowers out on each of the tables. I pulled a chair up and sat down. I thought of all the memories that still remain here. I remember Kiros, Ward and I used to patrol the town everyday, then come back and give our report to little Elle and Raine. Those were happier days. 

I even remember the day Kiros and Ward dragged me in here after I had badly hurt myself. Raine took good care of me, even if she did think I was a big blubbering baby. She told me a few months after what had happened because I couldn't exactly remember. She said I came in whining like a little kid who had fallen off his bike. Sigh, those were some good ole days…

I got up and walked out. I decided to visit Raine's grave once again. I walked out the to town circle and headed across the small wodden bridge, towards the large field. I walked through the empty path to the field of flowers. The smell was such a nice smell, flowers always seemed to cheer me up. The flowers that Raine always set out in the bar were always so beautiful and they made the place smell nice.

I walked over the small hill, and to a small grassy patch where a small, square stone was. I slowly walked to the gravestone remembering all the happy memories with Raine. I picked a few flowers and put them on the gravestone. I kneeled down, and started to speak, "I'm so sorry Raine. I know I should have been there for you, Elle and Squall… I was stupid not to come back sooner. I know that if I would have just come back sooner, none of this would have happened. I just wish everything would be okay, but without you here, it's not. I don't think Squall will ever forgive me… If you were here, everything would be okay…" Tears started welling up in my eyes. I tried hard not to cry, but it came anyways.

~*~*~*~*~

"Ellone! Get upstairs! Hide!" Raine shouted firmly, signalling for Ellone to go upstairs. The soldiers from Esthar were there to take Ellone away, and Raine wasn't about to give her up. She wasn't going to let some soldiers take her away from her. Suddenly, there was a loud knock on the door.

"Open up!" a deep voice yelled from the other side of the door. When Raine refused to open the door for the soldiers, they resorted to brute force, and they kicked the door down.

"Get out!" Raine exclaimed. "You are not allowed here!" She stood in front of them, not letting them through. She firmly placed her hands on her hips and didn't budge at all.

"Ha, you are puny, you don't stand a chance!" the other soldier mocked Raine, who then narrowed her eyes. "Hand over the girl, and this won't end in a mess of blood," he explained. Yet Raine still refused to let them pass her. She put her arm out in front of them to stop them from going any further.

Ellone opened the door at the top of the stairs just a crack to peek through. She saw Raine standing in front of two men who were dressed in funny outfits. She then saw the enormous guns that they were holding and gasped. Both of the soldiers looked up the stairs at the door. "There she is! Get her!" he yelled. Raine pushed herself in front of him trying to hold him back.

"Ellone!" Raine yelled. "Don't let them get-" A gunshot was fired, and hit Raine in the shoulder. Another one was shot at her stomach. As she fell to the floor, Ellone screamed. Raine tried as hard as she could to hang onto her life, she couldn't let these soldiers take Ellone from her. She breathed heavily now, telling herself to get up. One of the soldiers stepped over her body and ran up the stairs to grab Ellone. Too scared to know what to do, Ellone just simply screamed.

As the soldier was returning down the stairs with a flailing Ellone in his arms, she screamed, "Mom!!!" She looked at Raine who was gasping for air in a puddle of blood. It was the most horrific sight to see as a child, to see your mother being shot and killed by a bunch of mysterious soldiers.

"Elle…" she managed to say. She tried desperately to get up. But the soldier who had shot her, shot her several more times to make sure she was dead. All that was in the house was a dead Raine and someone else. No one knew that there was a small baby boy sleeping upstairs, who was now crying. The loud shots had awaken him. He lay all by himself unaware of what had just happened. 

Moments after the assault, a few townspeople flocked towards the small house. An old lady heard the baby crying, and went up the stairs to find a little baby boy. There was a small piece of paper next to him with the name 'Squall' scribbled in blue crayon. "Squall…" the old lady said. "Well, I'm sorry, but your mommy is dead," she said sadly.

Later that day, the Kramar's came to take the little Squall to their Orphanage. The old lady told them the whole story. "Take care of him," the old lady told Edea.

"We will," Edea replied. And with Squall in her arms, she and Cid left.

~*~*~*~*~

The tears ran down my face. I couldn't stop. Nothing was right. My life was all messed up. I can never forgive myself for what I did. I am a terrible father. I put my face in my hands, then wiped the tears away and stood up. I tried to convince myself that everything was going to be fine. I told myself that I could make it up to Squall, somehow…


	3. Please Listen

Everything was going to be fine, I told myself once again. I just had to figure out how I was going to make up for all of those lost years… How can I? I stood gazing at the field of flowers for a while, then I looked back down at Raine's grave. "I will find a way," I said to it, as if trying to reach Raine. "Everything will be fine, Raine…" I turned back towards the path, and headed toward the town entrance. I think I will go visit Squall.

I know I told the pilot of the Ragnarok to pick me up later, so I should probably make a call to the Presidential Office to tell him I have changed my mind. I can do that when I get to Balamb though. Kiros and Ward are probably worried about me right now. The President of such a high-tech city shouldn't be running around without any body guards! Well, I don't care about that right now. I can manage by myself.

As I exited the small, quiet town of Winhill, I couldn't help but remember the day I left with Kiros and Ward. It was one of those days you could just never forget…

~*~*~*~*~

"Hey guys," I said as I slowly walked up to Kiros and Ward. The afternoon sun was high in the sky, and the warm breeze of the wind was very relaxing.

"Yeah Laguna?" Ward's deep voice replied. Him and Kiros both stopped and looked at me, as if to say, _what now? _

"What is it this time?" Kiros complained. He put one hand on his hip impatiently and waited for my reply.

"Well, uhhh…" I stuttered. "I sort of miss Winhill…" I scratched the back of my head and smiled.

"Laguna," Ward explained, "we just left Winhill about a minute ago. How can you miss it already?" I grinned. It was really silly, bit I really was already starting to miss the quiet little town.

"I know, I know… I just miss little Elle and Raine… Heh…That's all," I replied. Kiros and Ward both shook their heads and grinned.

"We'll be coming back soon," Kiros informed me. "Don't worry, it's not like anything is going to happen to Winhill while we're gone."

"Yeah," Ward interrupted. "It's not like the town is going to be burned down or something…" He then stopped talking. Moments later we all laughed. It was a silly little piece of sarcasm… But what if that did happen? I truly did, deep inside, worry that when I came back, they would be gone. I feared that I would never see them again. I would never forgive myself if something happened to them…

~*~*~*~*~

I finally left and headed towards the closest train station. It took several hours, and quite a bit of Gil to get to Balamb. But it is all worth it, I needed to see my son. As I exited the train in the small town of Balamb, I breathed a sigh of relief. That was one long train ride! My bottom was beginning to go numb! I looked around for a moment to figure out where I was, and where I was supposed to go. Eventually, I found my way around. I passed the gas station on my way out, and one of the mechanics seemed to be working on a car.

It was a long walk to the Garden, but I needed that time to think of what I was going to tell Squall. I still hadn't come up with anything… Even through the long hours on the train I could not think of something to talk to him about. Then I finally came to the conclusion that, I should tell him whatever is in my heart. Whatever comes out of my mouth should be from the heart. I shouldn't make anything up, or try to start a cheesy little conversation. I should just tell him whatever comes out, just go with the flow sort of thing. Yeah. I'll tell him that I am terribly sorry. I hope he can find it somewhere in him to forgive me…

The gentle breeze was warm and calming, and the distant sound of the ocean was very nice as well. I could almost hear each of the waves crashing upon the hot sandy beaches not too far from where I was. It was really nice to be walking outside on such a nice day, it was very relaxing. My worries seemed to momentarily slip my mind as I indulged in the tranquility. It was so peaceful. Soon enough I found myself closer to Balamb Garden then I thought I was.

I stood outside of the Garden for a moment then took a deep breath and entered. I found my way to the main hall… But I was terribly lost. I was never good at finding my way around places. I always bring the wrong map, or read it wrong. I'm sure I can figure out where the Dorms are in this place though, it shouldn't be that hard. I looked over towards the elevator, and saw a Directory in front of the stairs. A ha! I think I can manage reading that! It won't be too hard! I walked up to the Directory and looked for the Dorms. I found it, and it wasn't hard at all! But then I realized that I didn't even know which Dorm was Squall's. I sighed and sat down. I looked at the ground, disappointed in myself. I didn't even know my son's Dorm room number. 

Moments later, I felt someone poking at my shoulder. I looked over to see that it was Selphie! She gasped. "Sir Laguna!" she exclaimed. "Wow! What brings you here?" I guess Squall didn't tell anyone yet about what I had told him. I guess he doesn't want to tell anyone because he is embarrassed that I am his father. Don't think like that Laguna! Maybe he just didn't tell Selphie… Or maybe he just didn't want to say anything. Besides, he doesn't even seem like the kind of person to go around and tell all his friends personal things about his life.

"Hey Selphie," I replied with a smile. She had a great big smile on her face. "I'm looking for Squall," I told her. She tilted her head.

"Why?" she asked. "Do you have another mission? Because that would be awesome!" She smiled and waited for my reply. She was probably hoping to fly the Ragnarok or something, I know how she love's that airship.

"No… Not exactly," I replied. "I just need to talk to him, that's all."

"Oh, okay," she said, with a hint of disappointment. "I'll show you to his Dorm. He should still be in there." She happily skipped off down the hall while I followed behind her. I hope Squall isn't as mad as he was last night. I really need to talk to him. I need to get him to listen to me. I need to explain myself.

We got to the Dorms and Selphie walked down the hall, and stopped at one of the doors. "This is his Dorm!" she explained. She smiled and knocked on the door. Seconds later, I could hear Squall's voice.

"What?" he mumbled.

"Sir Laguna is here, and he wants to talk to you," Selphie replied. She turned to me and smiled.

"Tell him to go away…" Squall mumbled again. Selphie knocked on the door again.

"C'mon! Open up the door!" Selphie yelled. "I don't want to have to blast it down!" She said jokingly. Again, she smiled. She always had a smile on her face. She was always so happy. She leaned on the door waiting for Squall to open it. Finally, Squall opened it, but just a little bit.

"What do you want?" he rolled his eyes at me. 

"Well," Selphie said, "I gotta go to the Quad now! We are having a meeting and I don't want to be late! See ya later!" She trotted off down the hall humming a song. I turned to Squall who was leaning in the doorway.

"Well?" he said impatiently. "What is it you want now?" He seemed really angry at me. I could tell by his tone of voice, and the expression painted on his face.

"Please," I pleaded, "let me talk to you. You didn't let me finish last night, and I need you to listen to me."

"Well, there isn't much more you can say to me," he replied. "I don't need to listen to anymore of this." Before he could shut the door to his room, I stuck my right foot in its way to stop it from closing.

"Yow!" I cried. "That hurt!"

"Well, it's your own fault," he told me. I looked at him and he narrowed his eyes. "Fine, but you better make this short. I don't think I can stand being around you for so long…" Finally, I would be able to finish telling him…


	4. Forgive And Forget?

Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own Final Fantasy VIII. But I do own this story because I wrote it!

I sat down on his bed, while he stood up and leaned against the door. He did not look at me, but instead, out the window. "I want to make it up to you," I started. "I want to make up for all of those lost years… All of those years I wasn't there for you as a father." I stopped to wait for a response.

I got a response, but it wasn't too pleasant. "Well," Squall said irately, "there isn't anything you _can_ do. You can't just expect to make up for 17 lost years in one day."

"I never said that Squall," I replied. "I didn't say it would take only one day to make up for it. I just don't want you to hate me."

"Well I do," he glared at me. "I can never forgive you for what you did."

"Please understand Squall," I pleaded, "I never intended for this to happen!"

"You knew that they were after Ellone for her powers," Squall sneered. "You knew they would come after her. You knew it. Yet you didn't stay to protect her, or Raine." He raised his voice, "You thought that Raine would be able to defend against armed soldiers? You thought she would be able to take care of herself?" I shook my head and looked down to the floor.

"No… I…" I stopped for a moment, and then continued, "I thought that I was only going to be gone for a few days. I thought I would be coming back… I thought-"

"Did you ever stop to think about what would happen if you didn't return?" Squall shouted. "Why didn't you return? After a few days, you should have returned. Was your stupid mission more important than your family? Was it?"

I looked up at Squall who looked at me angrily. I couldn't get back to Winhill… I tried… But I wasn't able to. Squall, I wish you would understand what I am saying. "Believe me, I tried to get back to Winhill," I stood up and faced him. "I never intended this to happen. I just wanted to be able to come back and not have to worry about anything anymore. But more and more things popped up… I couldn't get back to Raine. Everyday I wished to return. You're my only family left…"

Squall looked out the window again. I know Ellone was also part of the family as well, but we had adopted her, she wasn't my real daughter. I didn't want to lose Squall because he is my only family left, and a piece of Raine as well. He is her son after all, our son. "I still don't think I could ever forgive you," Squall said more calmly.

"I understand…" I said sadly. I should be happy. At least now he understands what I have been trying to tell him. "You're my only reminder of Raine, and I wouldn't know what to do if I ever lost you, Squall."

"Stop with that stuff," Squall firmly said. He looked back at me. "Don't you have other stuff to be doing back in Esthar?" Oh yeah! I completely forgot to phone!! I nodded to Squall and faintly smiled. I headed out the door, and walked to the main hall. Squall remained in his room. He still hadn't called me dad, or father… He probably never will… I would die a happy man if he just forgave me and called me 'dad'. Even just once…

I finally found my way to a phone and called the Presidential Palace. When I got off the phone, I waited outside for the Ragnarok. The wind gently swished my hair. I put my hands into my pockets and stared off towards the ocean. I really hope that everything turns out fine in the end. Most things do and I hope that this will too. 

After a while, the Ragnarok landed outside the Balamb Garden. I entered and thanked the pilot for picking me up. I thought he would ask why I was all the way in Balamb, but he didn't. I was actually surprised that he hadn't asked. I just shrugged it off. Maybe he thought it would be rude if he asked.

Again, I sat alone on the Ragnarok. I found myself staring out the window once again in deep thought. Will Squall ever really think of me as a father? I continued looking out the window, watching the earth below zoom by. I watched as the Ragnarok tore through numerous clouds, and pass many mountains. Suddenly, the Ragnarok landed at the Airstation in Esthar. As I exited, I thanked the pilot once again, and then headed towards the Presidential Palace.

Back in my office, Ellone greeted me with a warm smile and a hug. "So?" she looked at me and smiled. "How did it go?" I looked at her with a sad expression.

"He still won't forgive me," I told her. She frowned. "But hey, at least now he understands… I think…" I scratched the back of my head and tried to smile. Ellone hugged me again.

"It's okay," she replied. "I'm sure he will find it in him to forgive you." We both smiled. "You better get going to your office," she said. "There seems to be more work for you to be doing." Again, she smiled, then continued down the hall. I walked to my office.

Kiros and Ward greeted me as I walked through the door. They both smiled. I smiled back as I made my way to my desk. "So," I started, "what new business did we get today?" I acted as though nothing had happened. Not a worry was on my mind. I looked down onto the desk and a white piece of paper lie there. I picked it up and began to read. It was a letter from Dr. Odine who had taken a visit to the Shumi Village to study with the Shumi. 

I remember when I stumbled upon that place. The Moomba's were incredibly cute. I didn't see how other people couldn't like them. They were the cutest things I had seen since a Chocobo! I sighed and smiled. "Seems like Dr. Odine is having fun," I informed my two friends. 

"Uh…" Kiros spoke up. "So… How did it go with you and Squall?" He scratched his head then looked at me, waiting for me to reply. 

"Well… It didn't go too well… But he does understand me," I told him.

"I'm sure he will forgive you someday," Kiros added. "After all, he is your son." Kiros is right. Though Squall didn't seem like he would forgive me, he would sooner or later. I _was _his father. Just as long as he forgives me before I die, I will be happy. I would hate myself if I died and he still hated me. I just couldn't bear it. 

I know something I can do to start being a good father; I will call him every other morning… Or on certain days, just to check up on him, and let him know that I am here if he ever need me. Yeah. That's what I'll do…


	5. Great News!

Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own Final Fantasy VIII. But I do own this story because I wrote it!

Upon waking up, I walked over to the phone and decided to call Squall. "Hello?" I spoke into the phone. The voice on the other end mumbled.

"Huh? Hello?" Squall mumbled. I stretched my arm out and replied.

"Good morning Squall!" I said to him cheerfully. "I just thought I would check up on you."

"This early?" Squall replied. "It's quarter to seven in the morning!"

"I just wanted to say good morning," I told him.

"Whatever…" Squall groaned and hung up. Maybe I did call him a little too early… Maybe I should wait a little longer the next time I call him. Yeah… I don't want him to be all grumpy.

After speaking with Squall, I got changed out of my pyjamas and into my clothes. At about seven-thirty I entered my office. Kiros and Ward were not there yet. I had lot's to do today. I had files that needed to be filed, and I had a meeting to attend later. I sat down at my desk and began to sort through the papers on my desk.

It wasn't until about eight when Kiros and Ward finally showed up. I greeted them and we talked for a while. The day went on like any other day. Sorted a few files and went to a meeting.

It became routine, upon waking up I would call Squall. Every Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday I would call him in the morning to see how he was doing. He became rather annoyed at me after a while, but continued to answer my calls. If he was still greatly mad at me, I don't think he would answer my calls. I smiled to myself.

I'm being a good father now. I am putting back the shattered pieces of our past. It was less broken now, but still needed more fixing. Squall still hadn't forgiven me, and it was months after I talked to him about being his father. But I feel as though he will be soon. Squall will forgive me, I know it.

"Laguna," I heard Kiros speak. I looked up from my desk. Ward and Kiros stood in front of my desk holding an envelope. Kiros passed it to me. "This just arrived today," he informed me. I looked at the return address. It came from Balamb Garden! Could Squall have sent me a letter? I quickly tore the envelope open to read the letter.

The letter had come from Headmaster Cid. I began to read it. A few moments later, I smiled. I guess Squall did tell people that I was his father. Even Headmaster Cid knows that I am Squall's father! I began to read more. "Upon Headmaster Cid's retirement, Squall Leonhart has been appointed as the new Headmaster of Balamb Garden," I read aloud. "We hope to see you there on Friday! Signed, Headmaster Cid." I smiled and looked up at Kiros and Ward who were also smiling. It was only Wednesday, so I had some time before Friday. Wow, my son is going to be the new Headmaster of Balamb Garden! Things have been going so great lately! Maybe he will forgive me on Friday…

I will have to cancel any plans that I had planned for Friday. I don't care how important it is, I will cancel it. If I didn't show up for one of Squall's biggest nights, he would think of me as a bad father forever! I am also going to attend his wedding as well. Last month he proposed to Rinoa, and soon they were going to have their wedding. Everything was going so well; so well that I truly believe that Squall is going to forgive me!

"Wow!" Kiros cheered. Ward had a big smile on his face. "This is really great news!" Congratulations Squall! I am so proud of you! Just then, Ellone came through the door.

"Hey guys!" she greeted us.

"Ellone," I started, "Squall is going to become the Headmaster at Balamb Garden!" Her face lit up.

"Wow!" she cheered. "This is really great news!" It is! I am so proud of Squall. He has come a long way, and finally got what he so truly deserved. He has done so much for that Garden. What goes around comes around. He helped defeat Ultimecia, and as his reward, is now becoming the Headmaster of the Garden!

There was so much I wanted to say to Squall now. I wanted to congratulate him, tell him how proud I am of him… So many things… I should wait until Friday though to tell him… Suddenly a thought crossed my mind. I should go to Balamb and stay in the Hotel! That way, I can just walk over to the Garden and talk to Squall when I want to. That is if he wasn't busy. Who knows, I might even see him in the town!

"Kiros, Ward," I spoke, "We are going to Balamb! Pack up your stuff, we'll leave today! Cancel all my plans for today, tomorrow and Friday, I have a good feeling Squall is going to forgive me!" They both nodded in agreement. Ellone smiled.

"Can I come too?" she asked sweetly. How could I resist? 

"Aw, sure. Why not? Go get your stuff packed," I replied. I was feeling like I was on top of the world! Everything was going so well lately, I didn't see how anything could go wrong! 

Eventually, everyone was ready and we boarded the Ragnarok. This time I was not alone, Kiros, Ward and Ellone joined me. I smiled the whole way to Balamb. I couldn't help it. This was the first time I have been so happy like this. Nothing could ever go wrong now.

"Laguna," Kiros spoke, "I have a really good feeling about this." He grinned.

"Me too," I nodded and smiled. "Me too." I looked out the window of the Ragnarok and thought about everything I was going to tell Squall. I grew impatient. I wanted to talk to him so bad. Maybe I should have phoned him? Wait… I should save everything for the party on Friday. If I told him everything now, I wouldn't have anything to say to him on Friday. Yeah, that's what I'll do.


	6. Dad

Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own Final Fantasy VIII. But I do own this story because I wrote it!

Friday came so fast! It was unbelievable! Finally, tonight I would be able to tell Squall everything I had been wanting to tell him all week. I can't wait. So far the day has been so slow. It's like time is crawling. I decided not to talk to Squall at all, I was going to save it all for tonight. Tonight. I can't wait!! I am getting so impatient! I looked over at the clock as I laid on the bed in the hotel room. It was only 11:47! I don't have to be at Balamb Garden until six! This day is going to be so slow…

"Laguna," I heard Kiros say as he walked into the room.

I looked over to him and replied, "Yeah?" He smiled.

"Well, Ellone, Ward and I thought we could pass time if we went out to eat somewhere." he suggested, "It's about lunch time anyways."

"Great idea Kiros!" I told him as I jumped out of the bed. This will surely pass the afternoon! "I'm was getting quite hungry anyways, hehe." I laughed as I exited the room with him. Ellone and Ward waited outside the hotel. They both greeted us with smiles.

"So," Ellone spoke up, "what kind of restaurant's are around in this town?" We all looked at each other. 

"I think there is one near the train station," Kiros answered. "I am pretty sure I remember seeing one there this morning when I went for a walk." We headed toward the train station, and sure enough, there was a little restaurant in the corner near the steps. It was a tiny restaurant, but it had food, and I was starving. Well, I wasn't _that _hungry… But I still needed something to eat. 

During lunch we talked about a couple of things. We talked about how we used to go on patrol in Winhill then report back to Raine and little Elle. Those memories I will never forget. As long as I live, I will never forget them. Those were happy days. Yeah. We also talked about Squall and how far he had come along in life. He was doing so great, but Seifer didn't leave him alone. Seifer is still his rival… He never gives it up, does he?

When I phoned Squall one morning, he told me that Seifer had been banned from the Garden. Poor Seifer, if only he had turned his life around. I'm sure Seifer is doing better, wherever he is. He still is Squall's rival, and always will be. That's just how thing are. That's what Squall told me. Well, wherever Seifer is, I wish him luck, and I hope he turns his life around.

When we finished lunch, I looked at a clock. Time had whizzed by! It was already 1:30! Only five more hours to go until I can finally talk to Squall again! Now what can I do to pass the time? I know, I can go to sleep. I'll go back to the hotel and sleep for a few hours, and hopefully when I wake up it will be time to go to the Garden! I am smart!

"Well," I said, "I think I am going to go sleep for the next few hours. I just wish time would fly by so I can go meet Squall!" I waved goodbye to Ellone, Kiros and Ward, and left to the hotel. I walked slowly so I could enjoy the view and the fresh ocean air. It was such a beautiful day. Just before I opened the door to the hotel, I glanced over to my right. Was that Seifer? I quickly looked back, whoever it was, was gone now. I shrugged it off. It's my imagination again.

I walked up to my hotel room and laid on the bed for a while thinking. Eventually, I drifted off to sleep.

I awoke to the voice of Ellone. "Hey sleepyhead!" she pushed me over. "Wake up! It's about time we left!" I yawned and stretched. I then sat up and opened my eyes, then rubbed the sleep out of them.

"It's time already?" I said, still half asleep.

"Yes!" Ellone replied. "C'mon or we'll be late!" She grabbed my wrist and pulled me off the bed.

"Yeah, I'm coming," I told her. We exited the hotel and met up with Kiros and Ward. Finally, I would be able to talk to Squall! I have been waiting for a long time! We rented a car from the town and drove it to Balamb. It would take much too long to walk there.

We parked the car. "I can finally talk to Squall!" I said aloud. I had a big grin on my face. I had a good feeling for tonight. I had a feeling Squall was going to forgive me. I know he will. I can sense it! I went ahead of Kiros, Ward and Ellone to go find Squall. Eventually I found myself to the big dance room where everyone was. I looked around for Squall, but couldn't see him anywhere. Where is he? I started walking around, and I ended up bumping right into Selphie. She burst out in happiness.

"Wow!" she cheered. "You're really Squall's father? That is so cool!" She smiled and hugged me. "We heard the news from Squall a few weeks ago! This is so exciting! I'll show you where Squall is! He's about to make a big important speech!" She grabbed my wrist and pulled me through the crowd into a back room. All of Squall's friends were there, Quistis, Zell, Irvine, Rinoa and Selphie. But there was no sight of Squall.

"Um… Where is Squall?" I asked.

"He is about to make a big speech," Irvine answered, "If you hurry, you might catch him before he goes to make his speech!" He pointed to another door on the opposite side of the room. I nodded and quickly made my way through the door. Sure enough, Squall was standing there.

"Squall!" I yelled to him. He looked over at me, I smiled. "I have been waiting so long to tell you this," I began to speak, "I am so proud of you!"

"Yeah," he replied. "Thanks." He sort of smiled, but I could see that he was trying. I think he may be a little bit nervous… No… Squall would never be nervous.

"So, you're about to make a big speech, huh?" I said. He nodded. "I wish you luck… When you are done, I need to talk to you some more."

"Yeah, um…" he replied, "There's also something I want to tell you too, da-" Headmaster Cid interrupted and pulled Squall onto the stage. He almost called me dad, for the first time… I stood at the side watching him, and looking into the crowd every few minutes. I saw Ellone and them and waved to them. After Squall's big speech, he will be the new Headmaster of Balamb Garden! It was so exciting. 

I quickly glanced over the crowd of people, and saw a door at the back burst open. Through it came Seifer wielding his Gunblade! I knew I must have seen him earlier… He is up to no good! He pointed it straight at Squall. Everything was happening like it was in slow motion. As soon as I saw Seifer pointing his Gunblade at Squall, my immediate thought was that he was going to shoot him. I ran as fast as I could to get Squall out of the way. Then everything started going fast. I pushed Squall out of the way just as Seifer pulled the trigger and let loose a bullet which pummelled into my chest.

"Dad!!" Squall yelled. I felt the pain… And it hurt, a lot. I stood, a little bedazzled at what just happened. Seifer was being pinned down by a couple of people. Everything started to go black, and I felt myself slipping away from life. "No! You can't leave me!" I faintly heard Squalls voice. 

I dropped to me knees and held my chest where the bullet went through. I felt the blood on my hands. Everything started ringing and I could barely hear anything. I closed my eyes and fell over. Slowly, I was drifting away from life. The last words I heard from my son were, "I forgive you, dad."

A/N: Sad ;_; I wanna cry now! That was one of my favourite fics I have written so far! Hehe, sadly, this is the last chapter in A Broken Past, but I am working on writing a sequel to this story! Yay!


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